I have a confession to make: I don’t like Christmas Carols.
That is not what this is about, though. It is important for you to know this tidbit of information, as it is pertinent to my topic. However, it leads directly to what I DO want to talk about: I am sick of people judging me because I don’t like Christmas Carols.
Allow me to set up a typical scene. I am having a wonderful conversation with someone and, inevitably because it is near Christmas, the topic of carols will come up. Usually, it is because we are listening to the radio, in a mall, or merely talking about having been in a mall. Or on the radio. This second one has happened less frequently than the others, but a guy can hope. Now, me being a fairly outspoken person about what I do and don’t like, I will inform them of what I said at the beginning: I don’t like carols.
The result is always the same. They look at me like I just grew another head. Or stomped on a puppy. Or both.
Now let me explain. I don’t have anything against Christmas, per se. I have my issues, but they do not come into play here. The problem I have is with the second part. Carols. I don’t like carols as a genre. When I say that I don’t like carols, I mean it in the same way that someone would say they don’t like country music or rap. I just don’t find carols to be good music. The melody is always campy and sounds like it was composed by a second grader. They contain the same level of composition that most local-channel commercials have. Noone has ever argued that those jingles are any good, but talk smack about carols, and the wrath of the Christmas Spirit will rain down upon you.
The problem seems to be that people cannot separate the Christmas part from the Carol part. Not liking carols automatically means that EVERY aspect of Christmas is now under attack. This simply isn’t the case. As I stated earlier, this has NOTHING to do with Christmas. If we go back to the commercial analogy, not liking the music that they picked to advertise a product doesn’t mean that I hate the product. It just means that I disagree with their taste in music.
To be fair, there ARE some songs that I like. I am not a fan of country music or rap in general, but “Fishin’ in the Dark” by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and “California Love” by Tupac never fail to lift my spirits. Similarly, the Carol of the Bells is one of my favorites, and the Hallelujah Choir gives me goosebumps, but I think that you might notice something similar about those songs. They are more chorales than carols. I love having a well-composed, well-performed musical experience. Unfortunately, no matter how well a carol is performed, the writing is still crap.
In closing, I just want to say to everyone listening that it is ok to not like Christmas carols. You are allowed to get sick of them when every radio station on the planet plays them over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over… Carols as a style of music are dead. Christmas songs need a revolution. And if I don’t want to hear ANY Christmas music EVER AGAIN… just let me.