Apropos of Nothing Podcast!

This episode is a retelling of the urban legend wherein a man is dared to visit a grave at night and stab a knife into it as proof. The knife invariably ends up pinning the man to the grave, he thinks it’s the dead man grabbing him and dies of fright.

Revolution leader Ramos Clemente succeeds in his bid for power, and is enjoying the admiration of the public along with his fours friends. Clemente has the previous dictator brought before him, and is informed that the mirror that hangs in Clemente‘s new office will show him those who would assassinate him. Clemente has him taken away to be executed without trial, in fact, he orders the execution of 1,000 prisoners without trial. Over the course of the day, Clemente sees all four of his friends in the mirror, menacing him with weapons and has all of them killed. Eventually, he sees his own reflection, holding his own gun. He throws his gun at the mirror, breaking it, and them shoots himself.

Pool shark Jesse Cardiff is complaining to himself in an empty pool hall that he doesn’t have the reputation he deserves. Turns out, the late Fats Brown is remembered as the best pool player that ever lived. Wishing with all his might that he could have just one game against Fats to prove he is the better man, Jesse finds himself presented with a game of pool from beyond the grave.

Long story short, Jesse defeats Fats and is then known as the best there is. Unfortunately, that means that after his death Jesse now has to obey the summons to challengers to his title until he too is defeated.

Sure enough, later that night, a Union lieutenant on horseback approaches the house asking for water. The sergeant recognizes him as the man who stopped his wound from bleeding on the battlefield, saving his life. As the two men are talking, the woman retrieves a shotgun from her house and takes a shot at the Union lieutenant. He is miraculously unharmed and the sergeant realizes that lieutenant was killed right after saving him. At least, he had thought so.

The next morning, the woman’s dead husband arrives, and sends the sergeant on his way down the road. She asks her husband if in fact, they are all dead, as she has come to expect. He confirms this, him from a bullet, and her from a fever. Her husband heads down the road, much to her dismay, and she collapses in the road. A man helps her back up. She turns to find Abraham Lincoln, the last traveler on the road and the last casualty of the civil war. He tells her not to fear death, and she runs off to catch up with her husband.

A group of neighbors are gathered at Dr. Stockton’s house for his birthday party. At the end of the party, the government interrupts the radio broadcast to warm everyone of incoming objects of indeterminate origin. Everyone is advised to retreat to their bomb shelters or basements or whatever and the neighbors scatter.

As it turns out, only Dr. Stockton has built a bomb shelter in his basement, and just as he and his family are securing themselves inside, the neighbors start showing up. None of them have a shelter, some don’t even have a basement, and they all want inside Dr. Stockton’s shelter. As the shelter was built to hold only three people (Dr. Stockton, his wife and son) Stockton keeps the door locked and remains inside with his family.

As more and more people show up, they get more and more hysterical. Eventually, a group of the neighbors get a makeshift battering ram and break down the door to Dr. Stockton’s bomb shelter. Just as they start to pour inside, a new radio update informs everyone that the incoming objects are just satellites. Everyone looks sheepish, and some of them offer to help pay to repair Dr. Stockton’s shelter now that things are back to normal. Stockton tells them he doesn’t know what normal is, and perhaps they all found out what they are really like when they are acting “normal” tonight.

A plane lands at an airport without passengers, baggage or crew. The FAA sends Inspector Sheckly to find out what’s going on. Sheckly has never had a case he couldn’t solve, and is confident that he can find the cause of the mysterious arrival.

After extensive interviews with everyone who was in any way involved with the flight from the ground, Sheckly seems to have hit a dead end. Then  it dawns on him, different people have each described the seats in the plane as different colors. Sheckly has the two men he is with look a the registration numbers on the plane and finds that they all see them differently. Based on this, Sheckly decides that the only answer is that the plane does not exist.

To test his illusionary plane theory, Sheckly decides to stick his hand in the plane’s propellor, as it should cause him no harm. Sure enough, as he attempts the feat, the plane disappears. Surprisingly, so do Sheckly’s two companions.

Sheckly finds his two companions back in the operations room, but now they have no memory of the previous events or his visit. As Sheckly rants about “flight 107″ one of the men recalls that was a plane that disappeared years ago. In fact, it was the only case that Sheckly never solved.

Sheckly cannot believe this fact and wanders off to the runway, eventually breaking down sobbing unable to deal with his one defeat.

Highlights

In a totalitarian state, Romney Wordsworth is brought before a government tribunal to determine if he is obsolete and therefore worthy of liquidation. Romney is a librarian, a skill that is considered unnecessary in the state’s illiterate society. Romney also believes in God, which is a capital offense as the state has conclusively disproven the existence of God. A short time later the Chancellor pronounces Romney guilty and sentences him to death, leaving the method up to Romney.

Romney chooses to keep the method of his death a secret, asking it to be entrusted to a state assassin. He also requests that his death be televised, both of his terms are agreed to by the Chancellor.

Later that night, the Chancellor arrives in Romney‘s room, as per Romney‘s summons. After some banter, Romney reveals that his chosen method of death is through an explosive hidden in his room. Romney also reveals that the Chancellor is locked in this room with him with only about 40 minutes left before detonation.

Romney indicates his intention to sit and read his banned Bible for the remainder of his life, while chiding the Chancellor for his behavior as a representative of the state during his own remaining minutes.

As the clock ticks down, the Chancellor cracks and begs to be released, “In the name of God.” Romney lets him escape the room just before the room blows up. The next day, upon returning to work, the Chancellor finds himself declared obsolete. Despite his protests he is torn apart by the assembled crowd.