Topless Car Wash! Are you dirty? So are we!
Topless Car Wash! We ditch our duds to bring you suds!
Car required, shirts are not!
You can put your top down, ours are already there!
Free car wash! $10 to look at our bewbs.
Your car will sparkle; just like our tits!
Clean car, dirty pillows!
Vroom, vroom, soap and bazooms!
Be Fearless! Donate topless!

Also, I think I have Magicka, so I’m up for it.

Even in such a state you were able to click the button when the game’s timer said to most of the time.

We still need to play mutual murder pact… by which I mean Magicka. Perhaps now that salsa can play games from 2010 he can be involved as well.

LOL.. emo teenager does not come with shirt.. I am sure she appreciates that.

BTW if you need help with designing buttons try this web site. It is a free online designer.
http://www.buttonbiz.com/button-designer/buttonmaker.php

I was on AON in July, for the record. Our original Scotch Club had the following rules: minimum 10 year, minimum $40, and single malt. Our current show is keeping the single malt rule for now (we’ll do a blends show at some point) but the other rules aren’t being stuck to 100%, though it tends to be that we are.

Also, Matt, I’d love to have to co-host with us! Bring your Horrorshowhotdog.com co-hosts with you.

Also, the pilot episode of the XTL podcast is the longest at 1:19, but Matt was on that one too so yeah.

Consider yourself officially un-fucked.

Might help with the breaking of dishes and at least keeps the kids doing chores.

Those are great photos. Can’t wait to listen to this one!

Also, Matt did win with a new way of making fun of my last name. I’ve had to deal with Popeye and Sailor Moon references for most of my life, so “Saylor, I hardly know her” is a nice new one that I’ll have to co-opt for my own uses.

Eat less jalapeno.

I look at my player: 1:26:12 of 2:26:04

Riiight.

Also this: Cum Cocktails

I think you SHOULD put titles on each episodes, and you should make Jena do them because she isn’t busy enough already. Also because she hates the idea.

I also think you should put titles on each episode, because half the titles would be “We Were Too Drunk to Think of a Title.”

Now shut up and put the pole in the comments!

Your rivalry with Burn and Brew went over well it looks like. Their website is down right now.

Also inaccurate, you will confuse the simple minded.

You know who Can wait for new stickers?

….

I guess it’s me, ’cause I gotta….Turbo Dog waits for no stickers.

(but good on you for doing it)

—

Why are there no pictures of the stickers?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/slough

#knighted

This doesn’t have a good end….so….Yeah, I like turtles too

It was the gustatory highlight of the year when consumed with Salsa’s Chocolate Hazelnut stout.

Also, MORE PIE RECIPES! I wants them!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnDjpUiKBmA

Granted it doesn’t help if it’s made by someone else and you probably already knew, but I had to post anyway.

Also, I have so many ideas for pies in my head right now. I think I may need to try them out over the next year and send off the recipes. Too bad I don’t live in the area and can’t attend myself.

Salsa I am impressed you said my last name right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEP6ULpCdXE

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Firm-Believer-Complete-Exercise-Program-Christian-Music-LP-33RPM-/330881461028?pt=Music_on_Vinyl&hash=item4d0a126b24

The more you know!

Harry Potter is Low Fantasy, Narnia is Low Fantasy, Charles De Lint is mostly Low Fantasy.

The term you were going for when you called Low Fantasy “Rubbish TSR stuff” is the subgenre “Sword and Sorcery” which is opposed by what you meant by High Fantasy: “Epic Fantasy”

Epic Fantasy deals with large overarching epic plots, where the decisions of the protagonists have world-reaching consequences. Sword and Sorcery fantasy deals with just the lives and times of the protagonists, and while they do things that are important to -them- they aren’t things that are important to the whole world.

Matt, your cohosts don’t know what’s good.

-Chaucer Malone, Miguk, the Holy Man

Salsa’s dead wrong (I know, shocking.) Red-green is the most common kind of color blindness:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_blindness

And holy fucking shit, check this out:
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-02/amazing-story-300-glasses-can-cure-colorblindness?single-page-view=true

So just have kids without getting married! You’re welcome.

Calculus is actually the mathematics of calculating volumes and related concepts such as surface area (which may be why a costumer would need it). Multivariable calculus, for example, calculates the volume of three dimensional space by using the X Y and Z axes as variables, or else using Radius and Angle as variables. I first started making headway in calculus when I realized that “R to the3rd Power” actually meant “The Radius on the X, Y, and Z Axes” and started rewriting the equations to read “rx*ry*rz” instead of “r^3″ It took me forever to figure this out, because the instructors never bothered explaining what the mathematics was FOR – in typical mathematics-nerd fashion the math was its own reason for being. One derives derivatives because they won’t derive themselves.

Derivatives were ways of calculating the trend of a curve in a given area, integrals were ways of breaking curves down, etc. Once I started to grasp that (or whatever the reality actually is, since I may have forgotten again and be way off base by now) I started to survive math.

But I’ve never NEEDED it. In fact the only time I’ve ever needed algebra was to teach my kids algebra. Frankly, I think advanced math was what nerds did for fun before the invention of electronics. How else did Einstein figure out that when you went real fast it was TIME that bent, and not the speed limit? Boredom and no video games meant he spent his time thinking of stupid, crazy ideas like “No, maybe TIME bends first” until one of them happened to actually be right.

HAHAHAHAHA I know, right? “Savings.” Hahahahahaha…

There are two pieces to calculus (both are connected but I’ll skip the technicals of how): derivatives and integrals. Derivatives let you define (oversimplifying greatly) rates of change like velocity for an instant in time as opposed to averages with aritmetic and algebra. Velocity being distance over time, you can define velocity at any point in time instead of just over a time interval. This is super useful and necessary in physics for just about everything.

Integrals are sort of the inverse of derivatives, in the sense that the derivative of an integral of a function is (more or less, leaving out a detail here) is your original function. In physics since we generally define our formulas with derivatives like Jena was saying with waves, we can use integrals to solve the equations to get useful things like height of a water wave as a function of time.

Hope that isn’t too confusing, and other people can feel free to correct me or come up with a nicer explanation.

http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/deck/1171

I had to mute my headset to avoid laughing when customers called in.

Sooooo Good!

That was going to be part of this weeks podcasts.

Genius.

On the contrary, we are quite mean, but only to each other. I’d love to hear from you again.

Sorry if you have to Google that.

SAY XYZZY

First computer game I beat was also Moon Patrol, but on the hard course (my sister was better at the normal course).

(Marketing, bitches!)

MECC and TIES were (and in TIES case are) separate companies. MECC started as a consortium of state funded organizations. TIES remains a consortium owned by 47 Minnesota school districts, and it’s still printing everybody’s report cards. I’ve worked for both, but only been fired from one!

MECC privatized and then was acquired in the mid-Nineties. They produced tons of early, great software with an educational emphasis such as Math Blasters, or the program I worked on regarding conic sections (whoo!).

The reason Odell Lake and MECC and TIES were all in Minnesota was because Minnesota was Silicon Valley before Silicon Valley existed. IBM, Honeywell, Univac, Control Data, etc. all had their headquarters here, and in an effort to grow future employees funded all sorts of educational programs around the state. MECC funded a state-wide computer network in the 1970s which was like the Internet to its users – in 1978 you could e-mail, play online games together, forum chat, all in text-only format. In 1983 Apple Computers convinced the MN State Legislature that this network was crap, and they should rip it up and replace it with an Apple ][ computer in every classroom. That's why in the mid-Nineties you could find Apple ][ computers gathering dust in a corner of most Minnesota classrooms.

When the legislature de-funded MECC's computer network I decided that the community would probably be willing to pay money to remain in touch, which is why I started GamBit MultiSystems in 1983. We ended up creating the world's first commercial Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG) "Scepter of Goth," back when "massively multiplayer" meant 16 users and "online" meant 300-baud dial-up modems. We franchised that to over a dozen cities, and the folks who ran our franchises back then, such as Marc Jacobs and Matt Firor, are now the leaders of the MMORPG industry, working on or running such products as Guild Wars, World of Warcraft, and Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic.

One of my earliest experiences programming was with Oregon Trail. It used to be that you would be attacked by wolves, and the computer would tell you
YOU ARE ATTACKED BY WOLVES! TYPE BANG TO SHOOT!
And then if you typed "BANG" fast enough, the wolves didn't get you, otherwise they did.

Well, THAT was boring, so I went in and changed the program so that instead of "BANG" it would select between 3 and 20 random letters. So you cold see...

YOU ARE ATTACKED BY WOLVES! TYPE FJELAOLDIEN TO SHOOT!

Ah, those were the good old days....

Food: I’ll happily grant Mexico this one. Canadian food is similar to American in that it’s an amalgamation/bastardization of every food that the immigrants that make up our countries bring. Mexican food actually has some identity to it. I am proud of the Canadian inventions of Donairs, garlic fingers, and the essential Poutine.
Beer: Comparing macrobrews, we both suck exactly as much as the ‘States (piss water all around). Just like the Fosters example: we export the shit that we won’t drink ourselves. As far as craft brews and microbrews go, Canada wrecks face. Every major city has several micros and countless brew pubs
Booze: Ice wine barrel-aged single malt. Need I say more? (Apparently, yes!) Also: Rye/Canadian whisky is far more versatile than tequila, gets much better with age (totally subjective but I’m sticking to it–whisky improves with age, tequila turns into shitty whisky) and the cheap stuff won’t murder you like cheap tequila will.
Vacation: We don’t have border towns; you can actually experience Canadian culture. Also: you won’t be killed by drug traffickers up here. Advantage: Canada.
Fleeing the gubment: better immigration, policing, and a lack of the aforementioned drug traffickers (who are easily bought as mercenaries by the gubment you have angered).

Are you sure you aren’t secretly a Canadian?

Man I’m going to be sinigng that for the rest of my shift now…..dang

Beware…

2) Storytime with Raederle needs to be a new segment.

“Edmund, and his partner whose name I forget because I’m a bastard”

HDR is High Dynamic Range photography. It’s basically a new way to make photos that look like you’re on acid. Here’s an example:

http://fotografiamartinsilva.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bad-hdr.jpg

Selective Color is when you take a black and white image and paint in or allow in one piece of color imagery, often the eyes. The idea is to emphasize that element of the image, but it usually just looks like an incomplete page in a coloring book.

http://www.savetheartist.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/bad-selective-color-570×380.jpg

Other examples of photographic fads are oversmoothing (making a model’s skin look like plastic) and William Wegman.

http://bryantlakebowl.com/calendar/shows/because-i-said-so-vilification-tennis-white-male-priviledge-show

(The URL is misspelled one way, the show title in another)

Also now that the Launch Party is over, Jena will be slightly less harried, but no less hairy.

…she was pretty awesome, though.

Also was completely NOT surprised by the burst of song in the Fast Five, but still laughed out loud.

What sucks is being old and having crappy reflexes. I like playing P2P Halo, but all I am in there is a target for the 13 year olds whose nervous system is wired on sugar and energy drinks. So maybe I AM the “target” demographic.

It’s not my fault I’m old! How come all the great video games are being invented NOW?

As an aside, will you be posting your recipies for the Fearless launch party drinks?

Help Support Steve!

I cares about the screwdriver. Chris and David’s (9 and 10′s) screwdriver was the blue tipped one that expanded in length. This is the one that the Sonic Screwdriver drink is based on. (See Melissa Kaercher’s Flickr stream.) Matt’s (11′s) screwdriver has a green light and a clawy thing at the top and he looks at it for readouts a lot. I have a copy of 10′s screwdriver.

BTW, Libaries are where you can find thethaurutheth.

On the subject Penn vs. Teller, I had forgotten their Ren Fest roots, but I’m glad you knew how magnificent an illusionist Teller is.

And finally, I think my parents’ bedroom in the ’70′s had that color of shag carpeting. I think the better name for it is Yog Shaggoth carpeting. (I always mispronounce Yog Sothoth as Yog Shaggoth, so this makes sense to me.)

I really liked listening to Charles talk about the games. I will check his online store out.

“Despite the increase in the influence of the Temperance movement throughout the 19th century alcoholic drinks remained a popular part of Christmas celebrations in Britain. The ancient practice of ‘wassailing’, when groups of people would go around singing carols and offering good wishes to their neighbours in return for a drink, money or the chance to warm themselves by a fire, still continued in many rural communities. Mulled wines and hot punches were particularly popular as they helped keep away the cold during the winter period. A type of mulled wine known as a ‘Smoking Bishop’ was one of the most popular Christmas drinks and involved mixing hot port, spices and roasted lemons or oranges. Other variations included Smoking Beadle (made with ginger wine with raisins) Smoking Archbishop (claret), Smoking Cardinal (champagne) and Smoking Pope (burgundy).”
http://vicfangirlguide.tumblr.com/post/38170885702/bizarre-victorian-fact-of-the-day

Smoking Bishop recipe I found
http://www.food.com/recipe/smoking-bishop-198856

Air Fare here sucks. It’s partially because I’m so far east, and Not in Quebec…Here’s a link!

https://maps.google.com/maps?q=St+John,+NB,+Canada&hl=en&ll=45.56791,-65.808105&spn=12.798901,28.54248&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=57.118084,114.169922&oq=saint+&hnear=St+John,+St+John+County,+New+Brunswick,+Canada&t=m&z=6

Unzip pants, pop out, piss, reverse process.

See, much easier.

I haven’t laughed harder. Thank you.

I actually thought about those for a few weeks, tring to make sure they were as good as I could. I know I could have found some better ones….Now I gotta listen to the show and hear the answers

Salsa is a crazy person.

Undo belt, unbutton pants, push pants and boxers down, hold them from falling down with one hand, piss, reverse process.

Also, stupid machine forgetting to post that was me.

In university, I would already have an idea what I wanted to write about, and would gather up some sources that seemed reasonable, type the whole thing essentially from whole cloth, and then just search out and pull, as I was writing, quotations that supported my position, so I could cite them.

If I were forced to provide an outline, rough draft and revisions, I would just fail outright too.

A few weeks ago, the street my store is on was closed to through traffic. They were replacing an overpass at one end, so that end was completely closed. The opposite end was obviously, closed to anybody trying to get out the other side, but not closed to people who had business on that street. There was a police car at that end of the road, stopping people to notify them that the road was blocked at the far end. We had customers with appointments that day turning around and leaving without even speaking to the officer, for the sole reason of “We saw cars ahead of us being turned back, so we assumed we would also be turned back” and not only that, but when they phoned us to tell us they couldn’t get in, this encounter had morphed into “The police officer turned us back”

Don’t underestimate how stupid people will be because they see everyone else being stupid, and assume it must not be stupid.

I was trying to remember the name of capselas. I had those and legos as a kid.

Isn’t “Adonis in human form” Adonis?

Technically Les Mis is an opera (knighted?)

And congratulations Salsa!

Heads is dick, tails is…man….I can’t remember it….I’ll relisten and find out.

D6x1000

(Coinflip)baby D6x1000

Now, I feel like for this set of fast-fives I should go through my answers and my though process creating the set (Hopefully people listen to the episode before reading the comments). I’m from New York (born on Long Island, Moved up to the Catskills in Middle School) and currently living in Massachusetts.

Pizza: I went New York. This question in my mind was basically Thin Crust or Deep Dish. As far as I’m concerned, deep dish pizza isn’t really pizza. It can be good, but it’s a pie. New York style thin crust pizza is a topped flatbread (usually built on Italian bread dough). Scicilian style pizza (thick crust, but otherwise the same as thin crust pizza) is built of foccacia.
Hot Dogs: I again went New York, but after watching the Chicago episode of The Layover I’m tempted to change my answer. The main difference is that the Chicago style dog has relish, onions, hot peppers, and possibly other stuff (and never ketchup) while New York style is just mustard, maybe some sauerkraut.
Mobsters: Went Chicago on this one. Mainly due to Capone. The New York mob scene from what I understand was more based in the Italian mob families while in Chicago it was more like modern gangs with a group of like-minded individuals.

For the longest time I just had these three and couldn’t think of another two to fill it out (which is why the last two have a different choice than Chicago and were probably not quite as good)
Chowder: New England for me. Nothing wrong with Manhattan style, it’s just not really a chowder.
Bagels: New York, of course. That’s not to say that you can’t get a good bagel elsewhere, it’s just not the same. There is a different flavor to the bagels even from NYC/LI to upstate New York. And I agree that a hot fresh bagel is good no mater where the bagel is from.

Finally, a comment of the topic roulette: Alleyway – My first thought was “Speaking of mobsters…”

Salsa congratulations to you and Raederle.

INTJ
Introvert(22%) iNtuitive(50%) Thinking(38%) Judging(1%)

You have slight preference of Introversion over Extraversion (22%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (50%)
You have moderate preference of Thinking over Feeling (38%)
You have marginal or no preference of Judging over Perceiving (1%)

This is a fair departure from what I was in late college (I (1%) S (18%) T (80%) P (65%) — percentages approximate based on score range and memory). It’s possible that the change is, in part, based on differences in how I interpret the question asked. Personally, I think this new set is wrong, as I’ve definitely gotten more Extroverted rather than less and I still Sense our my decisions rather than go with my gut, though I am and have generally always been good at improvising. Honestly, the “porn names” for N fit me better (assuming the last letter is wrong–see below), so I guess I’ll accept that one. I’m fine with the percentage difference between Think and Feel dropping as I certainly use more “emotional data” in my rational evaluation of any given situation.

The difference the offends me (for no good reason) is that the test calls me a Judge rather than Perceiver when I still appreciate a good slack. Yes I’m a stickler for time tables and I like to finish what I start, but I’m not a scheduler/planner. I think my innate ability to “overthink” a dozen things at once in the back of my mind and assume leadership roles are being used against me. I don’t think Scientist or Executive fit me nearly as well as Thinker or Visionary (which is the description that I feel best fits how I feel about myself).

Back before the end of the fest, I sent in fest themed questions. I believe they were used on the 100th episode.

I choose those pies due to that being the normal for my family.

The phrase you’re looking for is “Passhole Aggresshole”

http://www.anyoneforpimms.com/recipes/

Also, there’s something wrong with the idea of Pimms cocktails in December in your wintery climes.

You are suggesting that you are freely giving up your own time to make this statement, and that makes it okay. However, you’re ignoring completely the consequences of your action outside your own consequences: namely that by purposefully making the process of getting through security as difficult for yourself as possible, you are further delaying everybody in line behind you, putting the security agents in a bad moon which will end up causing problems for everybody in line behind you, and just generally contribute to making every single person in that airport’s experience less positive.

So it was too much too much information?

Also, you guys totally mentioned Fearless earlier in the podcast than the end. (Jena mentioned updating the site. I know, drink)

Matt… people at Vil chant for you to get kicked in the junk. Your so easy to love and to just hate. Your pain brings the world joy.

I am INTJ – The Scientist

Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

INTJ
Introvert(44%) iNtuitive(12%) iNtuitive Thinking(1%) Judging(33%)
•You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (44%)
•You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
•You have marginal or no preference of Thinking over Feeling (1%)
•You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)

On Pi(e) Day invite: While much appreciated, being in Massachusetts makes attending quite dificult. Maybe if the invite is open ended for any future Pi(e) Day I’ll be able to make it at some point.

On Rain v Snow: While driving in snow is much worse than rain (though not nearly as difficult as some people make it seem), what I had in mind was being caught ouside in it unprepared. I hate getting wet, so for me snow is much preferred since it takes time for it to melt and you can clear it off of yourself before then.

If someone can please shake Mr Eric Knight’s hand for me, I would appreciate it.

I am a HUGE Fan of Netrunner, and had many many cards from when it came out in the late 90s. I Just found out this week that Fantasy Flight reissued it as a Living Card game.

I am currently sitting happily at work looking at all the cards, and they did a great job capturing the spirit of the game. Fantasy Flight can hav all my monies if they keep up this great work.

Thank you Eric. I don’t know what you did as Production Manager, but You were involved. Thank you.

- Shawn From Canada

You can shut off the display of events that you weren’t invited to by going to the Events page and clicking the cog in the upper-right corner, going to Settings, and unchecking both boxes at the top of the page.

Matt,

I believe you can turn off comments for events you haven’t accepted if you go into your account settings, click on notifications, and uncheck the stuff under Events. I’m not sure if this will help with the notifications you get about being invited to tons of events or not.

You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (100%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (25%)
You have distinctive preference of Feeling over Thinking (62%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (11%)

I should also note that I’ve been an INFP since the beginning of time, so I’m also consistent in this.

I generously give her as much audio book listening time as she wants!

Speaking of kilts, Fest is the only place I’ve had a drunk woman lift my kilt. Kinda wish I had been regimental at the time so maybe she would have realized how out of line she was…

I love it!

We might have to do a fruit wine DOTM, so if you have suggestions for good ones, let me know!

Totally nerdy thought came into my mind as Matt was saying he would rather be surrounded by concrete and Salsa wanted to be in the woods. I was like damn Salsa is such an elf and Matt a dwarf.

Finally the thought of Matt dressed up like Betty White, people would think he was Norman Bates from Psycho.

PS Horror Show Hot Dog worth a listen for sure.

Hobbist rant: The standard grape wine producers striving to be “fancy” and memories of horrible grandma’s house homemade fruit wines have tainted the public against non-grape wines. Fruit wines/mead are difficult to market, and usually made to be dessert wines because nobody believes you can make a dry or complex beverage with non-grapes, even though it is completely possible. Did you know that non-grape wines are not allowed to be labelled with a vintage, even though many, especially vegetable based, improve dramatically with age. Pumpkin and spiced beer is all the rage, pumpkin spice wine is better.

That’s understandabe, but remember that like The Doctor (regenerations) the hosts also “can be replaced”.

Also, I feel that permission does not need to be asked for to nerd out, particularly on the internet.
——————
I also just sent four groups of Fast-Five questions. The last group was going to have just three, but I thought of two more that were close enough to the theme at the last minute.

As for Engineer Corwyn getting official cohost status and an email address? Let’s remember I’m currently NOT drinking large amounts of alcohol so I’d say the chances are currently pretty slim. If I may nerd out for a moment, I like to think of the engineer as the companion to the hosts Dr. Who. Useful in a pinch, but ultimately replaceable.

I actually have a Yahoo email address that is my primary email (except for official things like on my resume).

Something I’ve been thinking about lately in regards to the show is that you seem to be allowing Engineer Corwin to talk a lot more than you used to (basically more than just the fast-five). How long until he becomes an official cohost and gets his own @aonpodcast email?

For the record, I was thinking “Snickers really satisfies” for the slogan.

Salsa, you’re appealing to the pervert in all of us…

The first time I chatted over the Internet was 1981 using BITNET. I used a WHO@SYSTEM command to see who was on a computer named “SYSTEM,” (whatever) then I did “CHAT@PERSON%SYSTEM” to send the person a message out of the blue. I asked where they were and they said “Australia.”

The first thing I thought was “Huh. Where along the way do the letters get turned right-side up?”

I also look forward to you trying the Pimm’s cocktail. It was much better than I anticipated, sort of like a British sangria.

And, oh dear god, I could not agree with you more about Applebee’s if I tried. I hate that freaking place. I can’t stand it and only partly because every time I go in there I wonder if they are filming an episode of Teen Mom. *stabs*

- Drinking Pimms in January? You crazy, crazy American folk!

- Next time, beat Skully with a stick until he takes you to sushi on Friday. See also: my prior comment on whichever show that was.

- People who kicked Matt’s ass at chugging during trivia? Me!

- Be sad that you missed out on Mr. Card Game. Be delighted that this sentance links to its Kickstarter!

- We say “maths” in England, hence “mathematics”. That question may also have been WAY too smug. Never mind!

I honestly don’t make this comment to be a dick, it’s meant to be constructive: if you’re going to have this many people on at once, someone needs to be moderator or find some way to keep a modicum of control, which you’ve actually managed to do before.

I know it takes a lot of skill to do the joust but once you have seen it you don’t really need to see it again.

Jena was just as happy about her Hep C then Chad from The Dregs was when I gave him HIV.

Frost & I had Umpire Stikes Back marry us; only he refused to wear his zebra stripes & skates. It was still wonderful, though, because he’s a friend & we trusted him to say nice things. And we met ahead of time to go over the basic message. I sometimes wonder if marriage officiants slip in their own stuff without the couple knowing about it ahead of time.

Pirate
Robot
Rocky (He’s talking squirrels!)
Portal (psychonauts made me physically ill)
WoW (fuck kotor2)

after questions:
Ninja… but I yearn to piracy
Robot.
Rocky still. He’s a character not just a mouthpiece for authorial ranting.
See above.
Goddammit you said “knights” earlier, making me think of the other games. I’d probably pick SWToR then because the main characters in WoW just stand around giving quests or just wait around for raids to slay them. Now if you mean which would you rather be a character in (not a protagonist, because you don’t play a protagonist in WoW), I’d pick WoW. Aw man, goblin planet would suck.

Sorry, there’s a link below… so I should write in this style…

The content on your feature is second only to nothing. We are learned for the useful words you thoughtfully put to pen in this space. This possibly relevant to your publishing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=MUdJVsDpGTI

Enjoy!

The other story I got is where I got dumped because the girl was using me to get back at her folks. I was into the girl but to find out she only dated me to have sex with me and loss her virginity to get back at her folks for something. She then told her parents about us and then her folks called my folks and demanded a meeting even though we were broken up. Her folks threatened to file statutory rape on me if I contacted her again. To find out a little bit later we both were within the ages of consent, but still really scary when your in high school.

With my story, I’ll go with a version what that essentially worked. I was dating someone for a couple of months–we met at a Voltaire show, where I approached her because we’d both brought books to read between the night’s events. Our breakup occurred at a coffee shop within walking distance from her apartment, and while neither of us expected it to be a breakup date, that’s how it worked out. I started the conversation with the classic line: “We need to talk”. As she replied with “yes”, I got the idea that what I hoped would be a “how can we make it better” conversation would be better steered to “let’s still be friends”. We agreed that was for the best, hugged out the awkwardness of the moment, went back to her place, and had great sex. We remained FWB until she got a new boyfriend, which was nearly two years later.

Now: I have thoroughly rebelled against the pressure on all women to “stay friends” with my exes. Most of the break-ups were messy (both as dumpee & dumper); and that usually left a bad taste in my mouth (figuratively, you dirty boys). In my mid-20′s leading up to the relationship that became the marriage; I far preferred to have FWBs or one-night stands. That was messy in a fun way.
I do see some of my exes at random times, & I would say I’m on an “acquaintance” level of ambivalence towards most of them. One is better on better terms with me & one I pretend doesn’t exist (because he started planning our marriage on the 3rd date).

I will totes help!

-Steve

Dear fellow listeners:

Please help me keep this true.

kthxbai

Cetius

Also, how did you talk about conjoined twins without bringing up Minnesota’s Hensel twins and their upcoming reality TV show? Maybe next week..

Is “nicer” defined as “I DIDN’T hit you this episode”?

Get to work!

Squired, bee-yotch!

Also, fat-free anything creeps me out.

Hehe, Salsa using “Funeral March for a Marionette”, which I *did mention on my episode, as the song I almost used instead of “Yakity Sax” for that Fast Five.

My first submitted Fast Five set! You’re welcome, Jena Lots of discussion on the questions, yay!

Same as above, but a few dashes of bitters…

…You know….’cause we keep coming in 4th of 5th….

http://aonpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/tensecondbatman.jpg

Still debating whether it was worth the price of Thursday afternoon.

To a large extent, summer camp (and the movies about it, by extension) was about rare moments of freedom to interact with peers under much less rigid circumstances than everyday life. A temporary escape. Up through the mid-90s, when camp movies had their last hurrah, that was still a very culturally-relevant idea. But now, with most kids having access to texting, e-mail, the Internet etc., I just don’t think that sentiment resonates in the same way. Kids still go to camp, but it’s not really about those things anymore. Now, it’s seen more as something parents force on their kids in order to temporarily rip them away from the digital world in an effort to make them get “back to basics.”

Shortly before the three minute mark is where it breaks into the up tempo part most know as the Lone Ranger theme song.

…that is all.

4:30 – I’ve looked it up and Dalwhinnie is from the West Highlands region.

44:50 – The six “Classic Malts” were originally defined in 1988: Cragganmore, Dalwhinnie, Glenkinchie, Lagavulin, Oban, and Talisker. In 2005, the following “Classic malts” were added: Caol Ila, Cardhu, Clynelish, Glen Elgin, Glen Ord, Knockando, and Royal Lochnagar.

That was too much fun!

It does sound like he was working on his act in front of a small crowd, and took a new bit to a point that crossed from funny to bad, which prompted an inappropriate response from an audience member. He was thrown off his game and reacted poorly. The woman stayed until the end of the show and spoke to the manager, basically saying how not-cool the bit was, and the manager gave her some tickets for future shows. She tells the story of the evening to a friend who VASTLY overreacts and posts a blog with about 1/3 the information and zero background on how comedians develop acts. Twitter explodes. Everyone in the story is a douche, especially the blog poster and the early commenters.

p.s. When did Dane Cook start being funny?
http://kateharding.info/2012/07/13/15-rape-jokes-that-work/

I understand that sometimes you have to get involved in things that don’t pertain to you for the greater good, but I simply don’t think that this is one of those times.

I completely understand your frustration with the written word, too. I didn’t want to use conversation-stoppers, it’s true. I was trying to make a point, and it unfortunately didn’t come across. Upon rereading what I wrote, I understand what you mean, and I apologize for the lack of clarity in my argument. I’m trying.

I see your point on “You don’t get to…” and I concede that the language I chose was poor. The point I was trying to get across is that if the issue isn’t important to you, that’s totally fine, but it is very entitled of you to say “can we just get over this and talk about things I want to talk about” when you’re not the one involved. It is a rare opportunity to play disinterested observer in something like this, but I think your “I’m just voicing my opinion” and “Because, again, I’m not taking sides. Because I don’t care.” come off as privileged things a bully says when they’re called out for behaving like a bully.

I am not accusing you of being a bully (getting things across via text is rough enough without me using loaded language like that). I’ve heard you discuss weighty things with clarity and compassion countless times with and against Matt and Jena, and you’ve never before used the conversation-stoppers above. I think you’re selling yourself short here, Salsa.

I don’t know what “Is != ought.” means.

I’m not really a cyber-savvy person, (I know, right?) and assume this is some sort of shorthand? Could someone help me out?

As I stated in my post, this is my opinion. Do I get to actually decide what people feel is important. No. You are right in that. But, I DO get to decide what I THINK that others should feel is important. I’m not forcing you adhere to my words. I’m just voicing my opinion.

(For the record, I hate the phrase “You don’t get to…”, because you are doing exactly what you are preventing me from doing: telling me what I can and can’t do.)

I reiterate, I am not defending Daniel Tosh. It is obvious that you feel that Daniel Tosh is in the wrong, and that is a perfectly legitimate opinion. I will not defend him now. What I WILL say is why are we even discussing this? Why do we need to get angry and re-angry about something that has happened uncountable times in the past and will happen innumerable times in the future. If you are upset with me because you think that my attitude is cavalier and uncaring, then I accept your critique. But, if you are upset with Daniel Tosh for what he did, then I am the wrong person to discuss this with. Because, again, I’m not taking sides. Because I don’t care.

This isn’t about whether she was male or female. It was about the individual. Every single person on this planet has a slightly different viewpoint and sense of humor. It could have been a different person, male OR female, and the effect would have been different. I don’t want to get into speculation about what ifs and maybes. We don’t know. We never will.

“I have a secret for you: Most comedians offend people. (…)”

Is != ought.

“Can’t we just go back to talking about things that actually ARE important?”

You don’t get to decide what others feel as important.

Now, onto the meat of the issue(as I see from my ivory tower): what Tosh said was not a joke, but a bullying dismissal of someone’s objection to an offensive (to the woman in question) thing he said. As you say, he has a right to joke as he may and she has a right to feel offended. This is not he issue. The problem is how Tosh responded.

Tosh makes his money making fun of people doing stupid things to themselves. That’s all well and good, and a kind of humor I find hilarious myself. Saying “wouldn’t it be funny if this bitch was gang raped” is not a joke. It is a humiliating, dehumanizing, and awful form of misogynistic bullying. Laughing at the expense of others when they bring harm or embarrassment to themselves is one thing. Laughing at the prospect of someone being the victim of rape is an entirely different one. In one case the victim brought it upon themselves, in the other, I really shouldn’t have to get into it.

That and his not-pology was “it was just a joke” bullying bullshit.

1.) People are really concerned about blaming Tosh for the feelings of discomfort they have on this topic, instead of investigating their feelings or taking any responsibility for their choice to feel them.

2.) People are really a lot more concerned about the above sentiment than actual rape occurring in reality and that disparity ought to tell you something about why people should be making more rape jokes, because as a good friend said best “Not talking about it sure hasn’t been working.”

3.) Comedy formulaically is (Tragedy + Time). I think rape classifies as tragedy, nuff said.

Food for thought, how do you think this entire exchange would have gone if the heckler had been male and Tosh made the same exact joke? Would that same group that is upset now still be incensed or, would they have instead all laughed at the idea of some poor guy getting buggered by 5 dudes for saying rape isn’t funny?

#knighted

#knighted.

#knighted

-Dictionary Darts
-Wordpounce
-Prose before Hos
-Blushin’ Roulette
-Brainbarf
-38 simultaneous abortions with a flaming AIDS-covered rototiller

1) Puppets on Audio….Interested….

2) Part 1 Hrm,……Wondering when Part 2 comes up

Jena, you were sorely missed.

Also when Jena can’t be there to record you should have a recording of one of the times she’s gotten “broken” ready to insert maybe as part of a bumper…

Oh, and we now have proof that Matt is not only a self-proclaimed asshole but he is also a juvenile, plebian Philistine

Being pedantic, I have a suggestion for if others want to do the same separate email thing. Instead of just part one and part two, the one with the context/answers should just have a subject line like, “OPEN DURING SHOW AFTER ANSWERS GIVEN.” Pretty hard to fuck that one up.

About other jobs, I’m fortunate to have a job which is a career that’s essentially a desk job, but we’re a small-ish company and I actually really like it when some of us are needed to help for a few hours with some other random assembly-type of task in the warehouse. I wouldn’t want to do it full time but it’s a nice change of pace to zone out with that kind of thing once in a while.

Next time, at least try to replace me.

This is what I was able to parse out of the episode.

I mixed 2 of these, one with the above recipie, and one with double the port. It was a bit dry but very nice, the whiskey and the port blended nicely. I ended up dropping the bitters and whiskey for the rest of the weekend. I called the resulting drink “port” and it was quite good!

I think your definition of art holds up very well against mine. I’ve never tried to think it through enough to be able to write it all down, but I feel like I could pretty comfortably use that definition to give someone else the gist of what I’m thinking about when I think about art. Well played.

I have read Kitchen Confidential and A Cook’s Tour by Bourdain, I haven’t gotten to his others yet. Confidential was great. I have to give Tony much of the credit in inspiring me to experiment in the kitchen. (The other big influence being Engineer Justin Smurf.)

Part of the danger of Kitchen Confidential, at least for me, is that it does such a good job romanticizing the shittiest parts of working in a restaurant that you forget they’re still shitty. Henry Rollins’ book Get in the Van does the same thing about touring with a broke-ass punk band. Love it.

http://amerryrogue.blogspot.com/2012/05/neighbors-probably-think-were-nuts.html

||||| Giant Dump begin |||||

Art: a constrained creative effort designed to evoke emotion in a specific audience.

Let’s break this down piece by piece:

Constrained
Perhaps to a specific medium, a limited set of tools, or adhering to a set of rules. Declaring “everything I do is art” is meaningless, although “each thing I do is art” isn’t technically impossible.

Creative
There must be some sort of novelty, either creating something that does not yet exist, or using extant material/media/art for a novel purpose. Anything from piling rocks on top of each other to penning a symphony qualifies.

Effort
Not necessarily skill (which can certainly help), but thought-out effort. I think of this as analogous to the difference between a string of words and a sentence. A sentence must follow grammatical rules, but can be expressed in any number of ways within these constraints.

Designed
This implies a designer with intent. Waterfalls and migratory bird formations are gorgeous, awe-inspiring demonstrations of emergent behaviour, but they were not intended as such (atheist here). Water takes the path of least resistance and birds stay the same space away from other birds in flight. The group behaviour follows from simple rules, but happens for a reason other than enrapturing the observer. I still love watching waterfalls and birds.

Evoke Emotion
(I am the least confident about this part) the primary purpose of art is to evoke an emotional response.

Specific Audience
“That’s not art” becomes “that’s not art to me.” This is not necessarily a constraint, as it is not inconceivable that one could create a universal experience such that any intelligent life would be moved by it. It is, however, unrealistic to think that every piece of art should appeal to every individual. Art can be aimed at a broad audience, or a narrow group of people with specific life experiences. Art can indeed be directed at only one person, the artist.
The audience must be specific (chosen by the artist). People not in the audience may be able to derive meaning or emotion from a particular work of art, but this fact is not the reason why the work of art is art in the first place. See Examples (A young child’s scribbling…).

Examples
Photographs can be art, given sufficient skill and intent on the part of the photographer. A picture can be a two-dimensional representation of reality (not intrinsically art) or, with creative skill and intent, a timeless memory of a moment, transcending our perception of time.
A young child’s scribbling (or musical musings, attempts at rhythm, etc.) can be interpreted as art by this definition. The child is expressing and experiencing the purest joy of creation simply for its own sake, even if they’re not conscious of this fact. The emotions that the parents or family of this young child feel about this work of art are certainly genuine, but they are not the reason the work is art.

Caveats
Something that does not qualify as art is not by any means bad. A well crafted knife or jacket can speak to the skill of a craftsperson and the quality of the materials, but the primary purpose of a tool is to be used for a specific purpose, not to evoke emotion. This does not rule out the possibility of an art piece that is a tool, created with the primary intent of evoking emotion.

||||| Giant Dump end |||||

PS: I tend to agree with Matt and Salsa that most “stationary” illustrated/photographed art is interesting for a few minutes and then I’m “done,” with the notable (because I’m about to not it) exception of pictures of celestial phenomena and planets, most specifically Earth. The following two pictures (and the quote associated with the second, scroll down!) get my waterworks going every time (I’m even starting to tear up just thinking about them before even looking for good pictures of them to link):

1. “Earthrise” http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/skyimage_2212_132268281

2. “Pale Blue Dot” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_Blue_Dot

PPS: It’s always entertaining to hear people talk generalities about Canadians and our propensity towards nicety. Well shucks you guys, you’re flattering.

I have not read either of those books, but I can’t speak for Matt or Jena. I will add them to my “to-read” list, though.

Yes! Please send me a list! Since the mainstream stuff is mostly crappy kids shows, the good stuff is more obscure and I don’t know about it. You can email me here.

You *could* send your fast five suggestions to feedback@aonpodcast.com, but then we would all see it, and would know the questions. So, send them to any one of us (it doesn’t matter who) at matt@aonpodcast.com, salsa@aonpodcast.com, or jena@aonpodcast.com. As to whether you should send them in groups of 5 or in one clump, it doesn’t matter either way. Send them all and we’ll meter them out, send them in groups and it’ll be easier on us. Your call.

One artist whose work I enjoy (though he wouldn’t be Turtle worthy) is Ryan Bliss. He’s a digital artist who creates desktop wallpapers including landscapes, cityscapes, spacescapes, and abstracts. I find many of his works to be nearly photorealistic. you can find his work on his website digitalblasphemy.com.

On Anthony Bourdain:

Bourdain is also one of my favorite TV food personalities. I was wondering if any of you have read “Kitchen Confidential” and/or “Medium Raw”. I really enjoyed both books and would love to hear your opinions on them.

On anime:

I too enjoy me some anime, and I agree that while there is much that is mediochre/horrendous there are also some gems. I doubt most of you care about what recent (well, since 2003 when I really started watchig) anime I enjoyed are so I won’t start listing (Though if Salsa is interested, I could email him a list).

Fast Five Comments:

Desktops also generally have better airflow which can help increase the operating lifetime of components, but draw more power so cost more in elecricity to run. So laptop vs. desktop is more of a portability/economics question now rather than the computing power it used to be (for the reccord, I have both a desktop and laptop though I mainly use the desktop).
Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the context for the “Sine or Tangent” question?

Finally, which email would be the best to submit fast fives to, and should I send them in batches of five or one big chunk? (I currently have 18 thought up, but would prefer to send full sets)

RE: “was he awesome or was he full of shit?”, why not both?

1 cup rhubarb
2/3 cup sugar

Stir rhubarb and sugar in a bowl and let sit for about 30 minutes.

1/2 lb. (2 sticks) unsalted butter (room temperature)
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 large egg
1 egg yolk
2 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Combine butter, sugar, and salt until fluffy and well-blended. Add eggs and vanilla. Stir. Add flour until just combined. Add sweetened rhubarb. Chill dough for 1-24 hours. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Bake cookies until browned on bottom. (10-15 mins.)

I completely agree that the movie is terrible. That’s why it’s great. And, it’s worth seeing for a young Ron Perlman and young Anjelica Huston.

I’ll not argue with you at all, though. Yes, it’s terrible. Yes, it makes you want to stab your eyes out. I feel that if I saw it for the first time today, I would hate it too. Part of the allure for ME, though, is how campy it is, and it never fails to put me in a weird mood whenever I see it. The important thing, though, is to start the movie KNOWING that it’s terrible. If you have ANY expectations, you will hate it, but if you enter with NO expectations, it can be fun.

Ah, good, and Jena’s broken!

I think the first LP I bought myself was Seals & Crofts “Summer Breeze”, the most embarrassing one my parents bought be was the “Partridge Family Album”.

Jena: the fest group you mentioned was Seventh Moon. They were actually around for a few years, they were very festie-meets-CSN with lots of good vocal harmonies. I sang part time with them one year.

Matt: the Olympics did not preempt all four channels when you were a kid, or ever. For decades they’ve always been on one channel at a time, as the channels bid and pay millions upon millions of dollars for exclusive contracts. I when I was a kid in the seventies into the eighties it was always ABC but more recently I think NBC has had it for quite a while, I’m not sure as I don’t watch them much anymore.

Man, Petrie Fly didn’t get thrown at me enough at school…sheesh

wait this isn’t on the podcast.

Whatever.

I think I’m going to try this this weekend, just have to find the bitters.

Just comes off kinda weird, it seemed at first like they immediately dismissed Matt after each question and started talking about him in the third person while he was still there…

Question: How does Matt define “foreplay”?